


Short-Circuit

by Warp5Complex_Archivist



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-11-08
Updated: 2007-11-08
Packaged: 2018-08-16 07:43:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8093800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warp5Complex_Archivist/pseuds/Warp5Complex_Archivist
Summary: Friend In Need. After watching Hayes die, Reed stumbles out of sickbay...





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Kylie Lee, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Warp 5 Complex](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Warp_5_Complex), the software of which ceased to be maintained and created a security hazard. To make future maintenance and archive growth easier, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but I may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Warp 5 Complex collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/Warp5Complex).

  
Author's notes: The last few episodes of Season 3 are tough on Reed. He watches a MACO he had chosen to accompany him and T'Pol on that sphere die; has Hayes doubting that he did all he could to save his man; Hoshi is abducted; and Hayes, unlike him with the MACO, dies to save her. I wish there had been more character introspection. And I was always intrigued by the change in Reed between the scene in sickbay, when he looks deeply affected, almost shocked at Hayes's death; and the scene when he stops one brief moment outside the Armoury hatch, before entering to inform the MACOs and choose those that will board the weapon with him and the Captain; there, outside the Armoury, he seems to steel himself and recover his determination. So I imagined something had happened in between the two scenes... and this Friend In Need story came out.  
  
Once again all my gratitude to RoaringMice, who can invariably make my writing so much better.  
  


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When Trip saw the sickbay doors open and Malcolm stumble out, he felt his already heavy heart sink another floor or two. The manâ€™s head was bent and his eyes were firmly on the deck plating, but there was no mistaking how ashen his face was. Even knowing about the Reed ban on tears, Trip wondered if he might have actually capitulated.

Please, please â€“ Trip prayed â€“ let her not be... He couldnâ€™t formulate the thought. He had been the one who had transported the party back from the Reptilianâ€™s ship; the one who had first seen Hoshi materialise on the pad, and it hadnâ€™t been a particularly reassuring sight. Damn it! Would the Dark Lady never have her fill of young lives? Lately she had been snatching too many among them, and every time it re-opened the wound in his heart. He couldnâ€™t accept when her scythe felled someone prematurely, especially someone close; as close as a sister, or a friend.

As if he had sensed his presence or his thoughts, Malcolm lifted his eyes. As they met Tripâ€™s, he briefly lost his momentum, before finding it again and stumbling forth.

Trip watched him approach with apprehension and studied him, trying to read the truth between the lines on his face without having to ask a question he knew was likely to stick in this throat. God, he couldnâ€™t remember ever seeing Malcolm this... thisâ€¦ He couldnâ€™t find a word that would describe him. Feeling his heart clench painfully, he rubbed an absent hand over his sternum.

It wasnâ€™t the bereavement in the usually steady grey gaze that was most upsetting, actually, but a certain sense of imbalance about his friend, making him look out of place in the middle of corridors bustling with tense and concentrated activity. Malcolm looked like a man without purpose or direction, and that was disturbingly unlike him; besides, this was hardly the right time for feelings of that sort. Right now, whatever may have happened to Hoshi, the crew needed their Armoury Officer to keep it together.

Breaching the last couple of metres that separated them, Malcolm came to a silent halt before him. He looked beyond exhausted. Trip met his gaze for a short moment, before shifting his eyes numbly to the glass doors behind. He could see Hoshiâ€™s immobile form on one of the beds, but there was no telling if she was dead or alive.

â€œPhlox says sheâ€™s stable,â€ Malcolm croaked out unexpectedly. Before Trip could let out even a sigh of relief, just as unexpectedly Malcolm put a quick hand in front of his mouth and stumbled to the nearest storage compartment. Shoving it open, he disappeared inside.

Frowning with renewed concern, Trip followed him. Sounds of dry heaving could be heard coming from the small room; Trip bit his lip and waited a long minute, until they had subsided, before pushing the door open and looking inside. His friend was bent forward, leaning on outstretched arms on some large canisters, eyes scrunched closed, chest heaving in the effort to regain control.

â€œSheâ€™ll pull through, Malcolm,â€ Trip said, trying to sound reassuring. â€œHoshiâ€™s strong, and sheâ€™s in good hands.â€ But the words brought no comfort, no relief onto his friendâ€™s face. Why would Malcolm be so frail and upset if Phlox hadâ€¦? Unless...

â€œWhat about Hayes?â€ Trip asked quietly, feeling more than a bit guilty that his first thought had only been for Hoshi. He had seen the Major collapse on that transporter pad, crying out in agony as he had clutched his chest. The medics had rushed him away at full speed.

Malcolmâ€™s mouth turned down and his facial muscles clenched. â€œHe... I saw him...â€ he stuttered in a very deep voice where emotion rang clear. Blinking, he finally managed, â€œHe died not five minutes ago, before my eyes.â€

Trip looked at his friend speechlessly. He would have never expected him to be so affected by Hayesâ€™s death; the two had butted heads virtually from the first day the MACOs had come on board. And surely this couldnâ€™t be the first time Malcolm had seen someone die from battle wounds.

Quietly entering the small room, Trip switched the light on and closed the door. â€œHey,â€ he said. â€œYou gonna be ok? Donâ€™t fail me now.â€

A numb face lifted and turned to him. â€œFail you?â€ Malcolm breathed out with more than a hint of sarcasm. â€œI have failed you. You, the Captain, this crew...â€

Fostered by fatigue and tension, anger surged with devastating speed within Trip. Malcolm couldnâ€™t give him this crap; not again, and especially not now. â€œStop that,â€ he snapped harshly. â€œStop wallowing in self-pity, and get your damn act together! We still have a job to do, if you havenâ€™t noticed.â€

He flashed Malcolm a blazing look, but the man had let his head drop again and the sight extinguished the worst of its fire pretty quickly, as worry took over again. He reached out and gripped Malcolm by his shoulders, wanting to reach him. â€œWe still have a job to do,â€ he repeated with calmer determination. â€œEarth needs you.â€

There was another huff dripping sarcasm. â€œCount the body bags in sickbay; take a look at the holes on Hoshiâ€™s forehead,â€ Malcolm croaked out. â€œRead the long list of those who left with us but wonâ€™t be going back. I couldnâ€™t keep eighty-two people safe: do you really expect me to save the world?â€

Trip felt like giving Malcolm a good shake and shout in his face, â€˜No one expects you to save the world aloneâ€™. He had a hard time keeping himself in check, and the only thing that helped him was the thought that if he allowed anger to take over it would likely trigger a bitter confrontation, and get them nowhere. Not that the man didnâ€™t need a jolt; but maybe not a physical one.

â€œListen to me, Malcolm,â€ he said firmly, summoning patience he felt he didnâ€™t have. â€œThose deaths were not your fault. And you werenâ€™t even there when Hoshi was abducted.â€

The reply came right away, in a voice that was low and struggling to keep too much from showing. â€œRight. I was on that bloody sphere, watching a young man under my command disintegrate, mauled by an automated defence system.â€

Malcolm looked deliberately away from him; he seemed to be digging deep within himself and once again Trip found that the sight was like a pail of water on the embers that sizzled within him.

So much had happened in so short a time, and he had been so concentrated on his own job, that all he knew about Tâ€™Polâ€™s and Malcolmâ€™s mission on that sphere was that it had succeeded in giving them some important information. When the pod had returned, Trip now realised, he hadnâ€™t even seen his friend come out of it.

â€œWho?â€ he asked softly.

Finally straightening up, Malcolm leaned back against the wall. â€œCorporal Hawkins,â€ he murmured, eyes shifting fleetingly back to him. â€œI couldnâ€™tâ€¦â€ He tightened his lips. It was a moment before he spoke again. â€œI chose him. Signed his death warrant.â€

â€œYouâ€™ve got to be kiddinâ€™, you---â€œ

â€œHayes felt I was at fault, wanted a full report,â€ Malcolm continued darkly, cutting Trip off. â€œHe told me he couldnâ€™t help thinking his man might still be alive, had he commanded the mission.â€ His eyebrows shot up as he huffed out, â€œAnd perhaps he was right.â€

Self-doubt. Trip finally felt his heart go out to his friend without reserve. It was absurd that Malcolm should doubt himself, under the circumstances. But in a way he could understand it. His job was to keep them alive, and lately they had been surrounded by death.

â€œHe promised me heâ€™d bring Hoshi home,â€ Malcolm went on. â€œAnd he did; at the cost of his life. Iâ€¦â€ His facial muscles tightened again, and he shook his head, pressing two fingers on his eyes.

Trip heaved a deep breath, which lifted his chest but not the weight off his heart. The last few days, he now realised, had been devastating for this proud and committed man. Malcolm had come out beaten and bruised, and this final blow â€“ Hayesâ€™s death â€“ seemed to have floored him for good. The thing was, what could he tell him that he hadnâ€™t told him already numberless times; and especially that wouldnâ€™t sound like empty words?

He reached out again and gripped his friendâ€™s arm tightly. â€œItâ€™s hard when someone under your command dies. But I knowâ€¦â€ He paused, hoping Malcolm would lower that damn hand and look at him, read the understanding in his gaze; he didnâ€™t. â€œI know that you would have sacrificed your life to save Hawkinsâ€™s. If the Corporal died itâ€™s because there was nothing that could be done to save him. Hayes wouldâ€™ve made no difference, and I bet the Major knew that, despite what he told you.â€

The hand finally dropped, revealing eyes that were still tormented.

â€œI must inform the MACOs,â€ Malcolm said, and Trip could hear in his voice the strain that was putting on his friend; as if, for some absurd reason, Malcolm felt he could be found at fault even for Hayesâ€™s death.

â€œI will have to walk into the Armoury and tell them that their Commanding Officer---â€

â€œYou are their Commanding Officer now, Malcolm. They need to see that you are in charge.â€

Malcolmâ€™s brow creased. â€œIn charge of wh-at?â€ he said bitterly. â€œIâ€™m the bloody bastard who has to pick and choose who next to send to their death, when we finally reach that weapon.â€ He closed his eyes and shook his head, as if to chase away a distressing image. â€œI will be looking at them and Death will stare back at me, taunting me to tell her which one.â€ He grimaced. â€œIâ€™m not certain I can do that. Decide which life to sacrifice on the next altar.â€

Trip tightened the grip. â€œYou need to be strong. For yourself and for them.â€

â€œItâ€™s easy for you to say,â€ Malcolm barked back, grey eyes suddenly cutting. â€œThe orders you give your men are to swap relays or ---â€

Shock suddenly shattered the ice in his gaze, leaving him for a moment with his mouth agape.

â€œHell, Iâ€™m sorry. Forgive me,â€ he stammered. â€œThat wasâ€¦ not me.â€ He swallowed. After a pause, he added, â€œIâ€™ve spent my life building up strength. Fortitude, I should say. I had hoped I had enough of it to face almost anything that would be thrown at me; but this is perhaps more than even I can handle.â€

Riding the see-saw of emotions that had been set in motion almost from the moment they had met, Trip had climbed once again to a peak of irritation, just to plunge a moment later to a depth of empathy. Somehow, he clawed his way back to a balance point and said resolutely, â€œI know you can. And I know you will. And I know that whoever you decide to take with you, when the time comes they will follow you unblinkingly to hell and back. Because theyâ€™ll be following you, Malcolm. Youâ€™ll be there with them, at their head, ready to take the brunt of it.â€

They fell silent.

Malcolm had closed his eyes, and for a long moment it was as if time stood still. They could hear people passing by in the corridor, noises from the repair work, muffled voices; but it all seemed so far away.

â€œI think itâ€™s time we got back,â€ Malcolm finally breathed out, blinking and pushing off the wall.

â€œNot before I know youâ€™ll be ok,â€ Trip said, shooting his friend a concerned look. He wasnâ€™t sure he had reached Malcolm, and somehow he knew he had to, before they lost each other again in the madness of it all.

â€œYeah,â€ Malcolm replied wearily. â€œIâ€™ll be fine.â€

At Tripâ€™s â€˜youâ€™ve-got-to-be-kidding-meâ€™ look he added, once again his self-conscious self, â€œTrip lookâ€¦ Iâ€™m sorry I donâ€™t know what got me. Itâ€™s not like me to be this... Perhaps itâ€™s the tiredness, butâ€¦ I think I sort of short-circuited.â€

Trip heaved somewhat of a relieved breath. â€œWell, good thing you bumped into the Chief Engineer, then,â€ he said, allowing a faint smile to curl his lips.

â€œBest thing that could happen to me, actually,â€ Malcolm quietly agreed, without a trace of humour.

â€œYouâ€™re not alone in this, Malcolm,â€ Trip said, giving Malcolmâ€™s arm a last squeeze. â€œNo one ever expected this mission to be without losses, and no one expects you to save the world alone.â€ He put a hand on the door knob. â€œReady to face whatever awaits us out there?â€

Malcolm pursed his lips. â€œIâ€™m afraid I know what awaits me. But Iâ€™ll be fine,â€ he repeated.

They exchanged a last look; then Trip pushed the door of their improvised confession chamber open.

They walked along the corridor in silence, and soon came to a juncture. Malcolm shot him an expressive side glance. â€œIâ€™ll see you later, Commander,â€ he murmured. With a nod he turned his way, to that Armoury that had been his pride and refuge, and now was going to be his test of courage.

Trip stopped a moment to watch him walk away. There was purpose in Malcolmâ€™s stride again: he had no doubt his friend would not fail.

THE END


End file.
